There was another time I offended a social justice warrior-type. She was talking about rape. and I said something like, “Unfortunately, some people will just take what they want.” This comment received a very hostile reaction from her, merely because I didn’t express enough outrage against rape — as if a few comments on Facebook were going to instantly stop all rape from happening in the first place. She indicated I was “part of the problem,” and that my attitude allows rapes to happen (yes, she actually said that). But it’s not like the average rapist will likely read a Facebook comment against rape, slap his forehead in amazement then say, “Jeez! What was I thinking?! Now I fully grasp that rape is wrong. Thank you, random Facebook comment!” In any case, rather than defend my generic statement to no avail, I de-friended and blocked her. Now she’ll never feel “victimized” by me again, and I won’t need her around dissecting my words to find something outrageous (or finding me not outraged enough, as in this case).
But what was offensive about my words? I had used the word “Unfortunately.” That suggests there’s something unfortunate in the rest of my sentence. Then I said, “some people will just take what they want.” Rape is indeed “people taking what they want.” That statement isn’t something I should need to apologize for, and only a deluded mind would think it “allows” rape. But that’s ultimately what we’re dealing with here: Delusions. Hell, let’s even consider a drastic hypothetical scenario here. Let’s say I said “We should allow rape.” It’s a horrible idea, but here’s the thing: Even those words would not actually allow rapes to happen. Words do not make rape happen. Rapists make rape happen. If people ever choose to act badly based on something I may have said, or an interpretation of what I may have said, I should not be considered highly accountable for it. Okay? The person acting on my words — be they idiotic or wise — would still have more responsibility for their actions than I would. And, of course, what I actually said to the offended person comes nowhere close to my drastic hypothetical statement. By and large, individuals should be held responsible for their actions, not the words they hear, or the supposed cultural climate around them. It comes down to the old adage: “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” And, again, equating all gradations of misogyny to rape is an oversimplification. I’d also say “objectification” isn’t necessarily hatred, either, and that there’s a very basic, animalistic aspect to sexuality which requires it for attraction, arousal, and all that other nasty stuff (because, contrary to romanticism, dignity tends to be a stumbling block to raw, passionate sex, and superficial attraction to female body parts can be a key part of it).
Anyway, her reaction makes me wonder: Would she have been as offended had I been talking about murder as a general phenomenon? What if I had said, “Unfortunately, some people will always commit murder”? That would have been an equally accurate statement, and equally as offensive, logically speaking. But I doubt it would have had the same impact. I can’t imagine these types of people railing against murder with quite as much energy, unless it’s the murder-rape of females or other political minorities. Murder is probably worse than rape in many respects, but for them it just lacks the same “Oomph”.
Now, obviously there can be categorical crossover (victims who were both murdered and raped), and one can certainly oppose both rape and murder, but why be so much more outraged by rape? Why assume rape is more of a feminist issue than murder? Why be so much more concerned about women getting raped than, say, men getting murdered? Sure, rape is terrible, but it is often a survivable offense. Murder is less often survivable , unless someone is revived after death while hospitalized (though that would only be attempted murder, which isn’t as severe as actual murder).
I might be accused of “downplaying rape,” but am I, really? How many times can I say “Yes, rape is bad” before it’s good enough, before I’m believed and no longer slated as a male oppressor just because of the body I was born with (which, interestingly, was largely created by a female)? Must I get “Rape Is Bad” tattoo’d on my forehead? Should I legally change my name to “Rape Is Bad”? At what point would I be believed? Anyway, my point about murder is simple: Where is the constant talk of “murder culture” as a feminist issue? It would certainly be just as real as rape culture, but it is pretty much not there. That is unless, again, we’re talking murder-rape of women. Non-sexual gang murders are apparently not as serious as rape to SJW feminists. Few are offended if I “trivialize” murder by sighing and saying, “Yep, heard about another murder the other day. Sad world we live in.” I can be jaded and apparently casual about that, but not about rape. If non-sexual gang murders are looked at at all, it will surely be from some anti-male point of view (example: If a woman decides to kill somebody for her gang, the focus will probably be on how evil men coaxed her into it, as everything folds into the diabolical patriarchy).
Of course, I am only half-serious raising these points, because I know raising an issue — no matter what my intent — will likely only do so much. Even if I word myself well, my words probably won’t accomplish a great deal. And you know what? Maybe they shouldn’t. Maybe words (and meanings) shouldn’t be seen simply as positive or negative forces of change in the world. Maybe we give them too much power, and that taking language too seriously is how we rationalize certain horrible and/or rude things to begin with. More to the point: A Ted Bundy-type won’t read this post and instantly stop what he (or she) is doing. Nor will someone likely read a pro-violence writing and have that alone be what sends them on a rampage.
Picking apart every single offensive word is not going to stop bad things from happening. In fact, to an extent, it is just another bad thing that’s happening. If people can never tell fat people jokes when you’re around, you present a problem just as much, if not more, than you present a solution. You should be able to laugh at offensive things, especially if they are sort of funny. And, if you can’t laugh at them, maybe it’s not always a political cause to raise banners against, but just a joke that fell flat. Sometimes you can be offended and just leave it at that. But that, of course, is the problem. Some people actually want to be offended by everything, to show how pure and good and righteous they are. In the process, the SJWs seem to pick and choose which victims to care about, and anyone criticizing their choices or opinions is just an oppressor.
It’s never enough for a person to just be factually incorrect. They must always symbolize oppression. Not just personal oppression, either, but global oppression. Everything has to be lumped together, and it’s all rooted in the white, elite patriarchy.
And, to be clear, it’s not that oppression doesn’t exist. It does. White men have been pieces of shit throughout history. However, as anyone can quickly learn, even slavery wasn’t exclusively perpetrated by white men. For example, in the year 2000, Benin’s President Mathieu Kerekou apologized for his country’s historical participation in slavery. Now, doesn’t this single piece of information make a narrative of white oppression seem less all-encompassing? It does for me, and probably not because I’m white but because I have a functioning brain. It still doesn’t mean white people are/were never bastards, but it suggests they’re not the only bastards, and possibly not bastards all the time, and possibly not of a hive-mind. In fact, slave-traders wouldn’t be bad solely based on their appearance, but because they’re holding and selling slaves. On top of that, not everyone who was cruel to slaves was male. Delphine LaLaurie presumably had a coochie, but it didn’t stop her from being accused of torturing and killing at least 4 black slaves. She had to flee New Orleans and head off to France due to the allegations, and this was in the 1830s.
So it’s also not like SJWs are entirely wrong about things. They’re just guilty of drastically oversimplifying some things, and drastically exaggerating others. However, less people want to hear from them anymore, because it’s like talking to a brick wall — a militant brick wall that only shouts you down and looks down its brick-nose at you (okay, the brick wall analogy was limited). It becomes harder to take them seriously, even when they are serious and potentially create serious problems. Yes, they may threaten to get Howard Stern fired for telling a woman to show him her ass, but how seriously can we take them if they claim this — this Howard Stern routine — is similar to the institution of slavery? They seem like walking self parodies. Meanwhile, they’ll probably make victims out of thin air, because someone is always offended by something, so have your pick. It’s an unhealthy obsession.
On the flipside, some victims hardly register as victims at all to most SJWs. Why do we seldom hear about boys being raped, and especially boys or men being raped by women? Do such examples not exist? Should they matter less? And what about victims of “mere” psychological abuse? Do we ignore them more because they lack physical scars? I think psychological abuse can be just as damaging to a mind — especially a young mind. Look at serial killer Edmund Kemper’s story, for example. His mother constantly ridiculed him as a young man, and locked him in the basement. He killed his grandparents at age 15, and eventually went on to kill 6 hitchhikers. Then, when he decided enough was enough, he killed his own mother and one of her associates. Not long after that he called the police and turned himself in (something unusual for serial killers to do). While all this wasn’t exclusively the mother’s fault, there’s no doubt that she played a role in shaping him into what he became. There could hardly be a better example of psychological abuse from a mother impacting a boy into severe misogyny. My brain cannot ignore such an example and tell me, “No, he was just a wicked guy. A woman played no significant role here. It’s all just a male dominance issue.” But let’s face it: Because psychological abuse isn’t exclusively a man’s domain, it’s easily ignored by SJWs. And, ironically, rape itself is largely an issue of psychological scarring. But any psychological abuse is typically downplayed if a penis isn’t involved.